The gold standard

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To commemorate the return to the gold standard by the Netherlands & Great Britain on this day in 1925, here is some comedy gold for your enjoyment:

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He steps up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A customer asks the salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker." The salesman replies: "Well, that depends. Are you gonna sweat, or are you gonna break wind?"

What did the fish say when it slammed into the wall?
- "DAM!"

From the back of a crowded elevator a man calls out: "Ballroom please." The lady in front of him turns around and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."