Reading old journals and seeing myself stuck, struggling, discouraged. So lost! It's clear to me now what I should have, or could have done. It's like when you walk your dog, and it goes on the other side of a telephone pole, then you both have to stop walking, and it looks at you with the most pitiful expression: it has no idea what's happened or how the problem could possibly be solved, but to you it's so obvious: "Just come back around to this side of the pole."