I don't want to regret never being all in

me & mike hiking in tall weeds-60s_adj01-small.jpg

There's a line from a book I read last year that really stuck with me. A woman, thinking about her life and the things she's been afraid to try, tells her friend: "I don't want to regret never being all in".

I think a lot about regrets - specifically about how to avoid having them. When I think of being all in, I think of artists I admire, like Prince, David Bowie, Marina Abramovic. I think a lot about trying to push myself outside of my comfort zone, as a person and as a writer, and musician. 

Not being all in means you're holding back somehow. Most people are. Being able to identify just how can be tricky. I've been losing patience with myself over the last few years. My hesitancy. My indecision. I get big urges to do something, and then, little by little, the urge is exhausted by questions of practicality.

Being that I'm kind of slow, I've decided to give myself 1,000 chances: to share something that maybe makes me cringe a little. To risk looking stupid and being embarrassed. Just writing this is a little embarrassing, so I guess it's working already.